Moesel In Bad Company

GREEN BAY (AP) Chris Moesel may not be who you think he is. That's right... All these years we though he was a kind, loving, compassionate young man... Mothers around the world sang of the virtues of their daughters, hoping he just might hear. Bosses across the globe engaged in bidding wars for his supreme wisdom and skill. Priests and nuns from every remote village wished for the day that he might join their parish.

But something is dreadfully wrong.

Moesel has been seen around the world, but no one ever thought we'd find him here, in the NWO. His parents were unavailable for comment. Hollywood Hulk Hogan, however, was available.

US: Mr. Hogan, Sir, thank you for agreeing to talk to us.

HOGAN: Let me tell you something. The name Hulk Hogan, the man Hulk Hogan, is big-- bigger than anyone else out their in the ring. The people want to hear what I've got to say, Brother, and I'm going to say it.

US: Is it true that Chris Moesel has joined the NWO?

HOGAN: Yes, Amigo, the New World Order has just gotten more powerful than ever before. You thought we were bad before-- Maniac Moz piles on the heat 50,000 times. The man is crazy-- he's a machine, Brother, and he's fightin' on my side. So you best watch out!

US: Some people have expressed outrage at Moesel's affiliation with you and the NWO. For many, there is only one question, "Why?... Why?"

HOGAN: What'cha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild through you?