Wednesday, July 24, 2002

Hot New Blog Site Goes Down
Rumors Abound of Corporate Fraud At

BEDFORD (AP) The popular site went down earlier today. Although no one is sure why, some speculate that Chris Moesel, owner and CEO of has been "taking part in fraudulent behaviour." Most people agree that this probably means that Moesel was too lazy to actually do the books for this aspiring business. A small contingent of the population, however, believes that this supposed "fraudulent" behaviour has nothing to do with book-keeping at all.

"I'm pretty sure there ain't no Chris Moesel at all," says Hingus Martin, one of the few people who don't believe the corporate fraud theory. " is actually owned and run by a man named Rupert Halloway, but the demand for the rights to is so high that he masquerades as Chris Moesel, since was freely available... I've got my eye on you, Rupert."

Evidence suggests, however, that may be in financial trouble, as it switched its main server today to a free, ad-based service at Inside sources say Moesel is doing his best to bring back to its ad-free state, but it may take up to 2 weeks. More details to follow.

Moesel Has Cake and Eats It Too
Nearly Spews It 5 Hours Later

WOBURN (AP) Chris Moesel woke up this morning, thinking it would be a day like any other day. But he was wrong-- today would be a day of utter sweetness... and eventually, a night of surprising sourness. Sourness like when you have an itch in your ear and you dig in with your finger to get it and then forget that you had done that and 10 minutes later put your finger in your mouth and wish for a moment that you had no fingers or no mouth at all. Yes, folks, it was that disgusting. But at 9am that morning, as Moesel's teeth dipped into the tender doughiness of a Krispy Kreme doughnut, he did not know that. Aside from being later than usual to work, things were looking up.

After all, a wise man once said,
"He who starts his day, eating Krispy Kreme,
never truly wakes, and lives the day a dream."

Work was no more and no less than Moesel expected. Well, perhaps a little more-- but let's not argue over details. After work, Moesel found himself at the home of his friend, officemate, and drummer of the "severely entertaining" band Saturday Evening Posterchild. Yes, there is one man who fits all of these descriptions, and his name is Andrew. Here, Moesel and Andrew had Birthday cake. The cake was reportedly immensely good.

The Red Sox completely smashed up the Tampa Bay Devil Dogs that afternoon. The score was 22-4, and Nomar had hit 3 homeruns. Manny only hit two. Silly Manny... So, life was sweet for Moesel. Sweet like sugar coated sugar cubes with sugar on top. That night, however, the Red Sox took a 4-0 lead into the ninth inning and blew it-- against the worst team in baseball. This, dear readers, is the cruel stench, the bitter pill, the anti-cake, that entered Moesel's life tonight.

After all, a wiser man than the wise man heretofore mentioned in this article once said,
"A Krispy Kreme can lift your soul but,
Red Sox fans need more than a donut."

Monday, July 22, 2002

Back From the Game

And I don't want to talk about it.